Watching Our Children Grow

As my son continues to grow and gain Independence, I have only one choice: sit back and watch nature take its course. As time passes our relationship evolves. The baby that needed constant coddling, feeding, and nurturing is now the little boy that still needs constant feeding, less conspicuous nurturing, and intermittent coddling. His needs change- mostly with him needing me less and needing to exercise his autonomy more.
In the moments when this metamorphosis, showcasing his self-sufficiency, stare me in the eye, daring me to challenge the natural order of growing up, all I can do is relent and marvel at the amazing young man slowly forming in front of me. Strong cheekbones replace the once chubby, ever-pinchable cheeks and short, straight, dark layers take the place of his bouncing, caramel colored ringlets.
Now, don't get me wrong, as he gets older I discover new joys every day, and I feel an overwhelming sense of excitement thinking about the man he will become.
But there are a few things I really miss! Like the times when he is happy, tired, frightened by the thunder, or sad, and it seemed the only thing his little arms could do was just cling to me- knowing that in my arms he will find safety, rest, familiarity, and most of all, love. Part of growing up is him relying less on that familiar physical comfort to soothe his tears and him beginning to work things out for himself. And although he still comes to me often baring his emotions, those times when he just clung to me, like I was the only thing in his world that could sufficiently offer him peace, are fewer and farther between.
Thinking about this made me think about my own relationship with my Heavenly Father, my 'Abba' God. How often do I cling to Him, taking peace and comfort in His safety and unconditional love?
When I was a 'young' Christian I ran to Him often, sharing excitement, offering praise, and seeking solace. Now, I seem to take His strength and ever-open arms for granted.
I know God takes pleasure in watching His children grow, becoming stronger and more mature. But just as we, as parents, will always cherish those moments when our children still surrender to their innate, overwhelming need to find reprieve and peace solely in our arms, I can only imagine how much more our Father cherishes the moments we cling to Him with complete faith and utter abandon.
"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deuteronomy 33:27.)

Developing Character As A Mom

I have always admired my grandmother as a person, but especially as a mother and grandmother. She is generous, caring, and hardworking, and has the ability to maintain a calm, sufficient strength through all of life's storms.
Her guidance is so natural, her goodness so sincere, and her most valuable lessons seem so effortlessly passed down to her children and to us, her grandchildren.
Growing up I was certain these wonderful qualities and character strengths would naturally activate in my DNA when I decided to have children of my own. I was absolutely positive this gene merely hibernated, quietly dormant in my blood until, of course, the day I became a mother.
But after my son arrived and the idyllic, tranquil woman (I naturally assumed was part of my genetic make-up) never made her appearance, I panicked. Surely, this meant I was adopted and therefore not programmed for perfection.
After my family re-assured me I was theirs, tried and true, genetic make-up and all, I began looking for other things to blame for my shortcomings. My inadequacy, compared to my grandmother whom I adore, must be the result of the gaping generation gap and extreme demoralization of our society. (I mean, she never had to deal with either one of the Spear's sisters, rap music, or the constant bombardment of explicit sexuality in the media, right?)
Recently, however, while reading the book of Proverbs in the Bible, I got my answer. My grandmother's strength and spiritual devotion have nothing to do with external factors and everything to do with her inner virtue and faith in God. Fortunately through His grace, our Heavenly Father has given us the same tools as every generation before us, including our mothers, and their mothers.
And no, she didn't have to deal with MTV or the Internet, but temptation has been around since the beginning of time. (Remember the snake in the garden?) Even though it has evolved greatly and taken many shapes through the generations, the battle of right and wrong remains the same.
"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. . .Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:28 & 30)

The Importance of Patience

Have you ever noticed how the extreme rise in temperature seems to seriously diminish our tolerance levels? There appears to be an indirect correlation between the heat and our patience. One goes up and the other goes way down.
Mothers, who just last December happily stood in line for hours just to see Santa, now are pulling hair and throwing Tae-Bo punches just to get the best chairs at the pool. Well, maybe not that extreme, but I have definitely noticed a spike in road rage and indignant scowls where smiles used to sit.
Patience is crucial when raising little ones and completely necessary in discipline. It eliminates the risk of emotionally based decision making, i.e., allowing anger to steal our focus and not using our mistakes, or our children's, as opportunities to learn and grow. It is important not only to be patient with our children, but with others as well. The examples we set today dictate our children's behavior tomorrow.
Ephesians 4:2 instructs us to "be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
This is a tall order-especially at the end of a long day. (I know its difficult to maintain a tolerant disposition when your child spills Kool-Aid for the tenth time in one day. Or asks for the millionth time why 6 year-olds can't see R-rated movies.) But these are the times when we need to rely on God's love and patience the most. Through His grace we can accept the peace He offers, allowing us to be less affected by daily struggles and the things that normally frustrate us.
Creating a stable, steadfast environment not only gives our children the secure foundation they need; it also gives us an opportunity to bear witness to the consistency of God in their lives. He is the same from season to season and His love and patience endure forever (Psalm 136.)
Every time I feel my fuse getting shorter I think about the amazing gift of God's patience, and all the times He is patient me, regardless of the amount of traffic or the temperature outside. The little things that bother us throughout our day are just that- little things. There is so much to be grateful for, including God's unconditional love and patience!