Watching Our Children Grow

As my son continues to grow and gain Independence, I have only one choice: sit back and watch nature take its course. As time passes our relationship evolves. The baby that needed constant coddling, feeding, and nurturing is now the little boy that still needs constant feeding, less conspicuous nurturing, and intermittent coddling. His needs change- mostly with him needing me less and needing to exercise his autonomy more.
In the moments when this metamorphosis, showcasing his self-sufficiency, stare me in the eye, daring me to challenge the natural order of growing up, all I can do is relent and marvel at the amazing young man slowly forming in front of me. Strong cheekbones replace the once chubby, ever-pinchable cheeks and short, straight, dark layers take the place of his bouncing, caramel colored ringlets.
Now, don't get me wrong, as he gets older I discover new joys every day, and I feel an overwhelming sense of excitement thinking about the man he will become.
But there are a few things I really miss! Like the times when he is happy, tired, frightened by the thunder, or sad, and it seemed the only thing his little arms could do was just cling to me- knowing that in my arms he will find safety, rest, familiarity, and most of all, love. Part of growing up is him relying less on that familiar physical comfort to soothe his tears and him beginning to work things out for himself. And although he still comes to me often baring his emotions, those times when he just clung to me, like I was the only thing in his world that could sufficiently offer him peace, are fewer and farther between.
Thinking about this made me think about my own relationship with my Heavenly Father, my 'Abba' God. How often do I cling to Him, taking peace and comfort in His safety and unconditional love?
When I was a 'young' Christian I ran to Him often, sharing excitement, offering praise, and seeking solace. Now, I seem to take His strength and ever-open arms for granted.
I know God takes pleasure in watching His children grow, becoming stronger and more mature. But just as we, as parents, will always cherish those moments when our children still surrender to their innate, overwhelming need to find reprieve and peace solely in our arms, I can only imagine how much more our Father cherishes the moments we cling to Him with complete faith and utter abandon.
"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deuteronomy 33:27.)

Teaching Graciousness

Waiting in line is never fun, especially for children! So imagine our frustration the other night as two energetic little boys pushed passed my son, his friend and me to bounce in the inflatable 'moonwalk' after we had all been waiting for our turn patiently for what seemed like an eternity.
There were about thirty other people in the line (it was a fairly large event celebrating the close of the Little League season,) but it just happened that these boys 'broke' right in front of us. No one else really noticed, except the father and son standing directly behind us in the line.
In perfect unison my son turned toward me and the boy behind us turned toward his father looking for an explanation and some sort of discipline for the aforementioned offenders. While I was quickly trying to piece together a reply that would sound good, re-instate justice and hide my own annoyance towards the 'line-breakers,' I heard the father behind us simply reply, 'Son, be gracious.'
Wow! What an answer, I thought. In our fast-paced, 'me-first' world how often do we allow grace to shine through our anger, frustration and general indignation towards others who don't behave exactly the way we think they should?
The notion of 'turning the other cheek' has become an antiquated expression reserved for Sunday school and Bible stories. Our society often misinterprets graciousness and kindness as weakness and associates those who don't fight back or do go out of their way for others with such negative descriptions as being a 'doormat' or 'pushover.'
But exhibiting grace is usually much more difficult and requires a greater amount of personal strength and character than giving in to our inevitable feelings of irritation, anger or annoyance.
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse... If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (Romans 12:10,13b,14,17,18)
Living out these Biblical principles is far from easy, especially when it feels like everything and everyone in this world is on a crash course to derail even our best intentions. But I always try to remember the profound amounts of grace and mercy given to me by my Heavenly Father during those times I know I least deserve it. Graciousness is a gift- passed down from God to us and from us to the world, 'line-breakers' and all!

The Importance of Patience

Have you ever noticed how the extreme rise in temperature seems to seriously diminish our tolerance levels? There appears to be an indirect correlation between the heat and our patience. One goes up and the other goes way down.
Mothers, who just last December happily stood in line for hours just to see Santa, now are pulling hair and throwing Tae-Bo punches just to get the best chairs at the pool. Well, maybe not that extreme, but I have definitely noticed a spike in road rage and indignant scowls where smiles used to sit.
Patience is crucial when raising little ones and completely necessary in discipline. It eliminates the risk of emotionally based decision making, i.e., allowing anger to steal our focus and not using our mistakes, or our children's, as opportunities to learn and grow. It is important not only to be patient with our children, but with others as well. The examples we set today dictate our children's behavior tomorrow.
Ephesians 4:2 instructs us to "be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
This is a tall order-especially at the end of a long day. (I know its difficult to maintain a tolerant disposition when your child spills Kool-Aid for the tenth time in one day. Or asks for the millionth time why 6 year-olds can't see R-rated movies.) But these are the times when we need to rely on God's love and patience the most. Through His grace we can accept the peace He offers, allowing us to be less affected by daily struggles and the things that normally frustrate us.
Creating a stable, steadfast environment not only gives our children the secure foundation they need; it also gives us an opportunity to bear witness to the consistency of God in their lives. He is the same from season to season and His love and patience endure forever (Psalm 136.)
Every time I feel my fuse getting shorter I think about the amazing gift of God's patience, and all the times He is patient me, regardless of the amount of traffic or the temperature outside. The little things that bother us throughout our day are just that- little things. There is so much to be grateful for, including God's unconditional love and patience!