December has always been my favorite month of the year. As soon as candy canes and chocolate Santas begin to appear on drugstore shelves and fabulously decorated Christmas trees light up department stores, I get that commercially-fueled warm and fuzzy feeling. You know- where the stress of the seasonal to-do list blends flawlessly with that inner, timeless childhood excitement and creates a sweet moment of holiday anticipatory bliss, causing even the most dedicated Scrooge to get a little taste for some eggnog and fruitcake.
This is the time of year we spend countless hours wrapping presents, baking heartfelt goodies, waiting in line and thoroughly reviewing our children's letters to Santa ensuring their Christmas dreams come true. And although these things, including each and every beautifully wrapped gift, are an integral part of the holidays, this Christmas season I challenge you to give your family the gift that transcends everything else that the season brings by focusing on the one true meaning of the holiday.
I know it has become a redundant cliche we see on sweaters, bumper stickers and buttons, but Jesus really is the reason for the season!
"The angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is the Messiah, the Lord." (Luke 2: 10-12)
Take time this year to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Start a new and lasting tradition by having each family member read a verse or two of the real Christmas story every night in December. Or take the time to tell the Nativity story to your children as you set out your manger this year. Let them know the significance and actual meaning behind certain decorations, like the star or angel atop the tree representing the symbols God used to herald the good news of the birth of His Son.
It is easy to get lost in the commercial whirlwind and gingerbread cookie buzz and forget this is the time of year designated for us to rejoice and celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I encourage you to make it a priority during this busy time to slow down, re-connect with your family and loved ones, and thank our Heavenly Father for the ultimate sacrifice- the best gift ever- eternal life through His Son!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
A Mother's Love
"Loving a child doesn't mean giving into all his whims; to love is to bring out the best in him, to teach him to love what is difficult." -Nadia Boulanger
"Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved."
-Erich Fromm
"Mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."
-Marion C. Garretty
"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."
-Honore De Balzac
"True love begins when nothing is asked for in return." -Antoine De Saint-Exupery
"Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved."
-Erich Fromm
"Mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."
-Marion C. Garretty
"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."
-Honore De Balzac
"True love begins when nothing is asked for in return." -Antoine De Saint-Exupery
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Watching Our Children Grow
As my son continues to grow and gain Independence, I have only one choice: sit back and watch nature take its course. As time passes our relationship evolves. The baby that needed constant coddling, feeding, and nurturing is now the little boy that still needs constant feeding, less conspicuous nurturing, and intermittent coddling. His needs change- mostly with him needing me less and needing to exercise his autonomy more.
In the moments when this metamorphosis, showcasing his self-sufficiency, stare me in the eye, daring me to challenge the natural order of growing up, all I can do is relent and marvel at the amazing young man slowly forming in front of me. Strong cheekbones replace the once chubby, ever-pinchable cheeks and short, straight, dark layers take the place of his bouncing, caramel colored ringlets.
Now, don't get me wrong, as he gets older I discover new joys every day, and I feel an overwhelming sense of excitement thinking about the man he will become.
But there are a few things I really miss! Like the times when he is happy, tired, frightened by the thunder, or sad, and it seemed the only thing his little arms could do was just cling to me- knowing that in my arms he will find safety, rest, familiarity, and most of all, love. Part of growing up is him relying less on that familiar physical comfort to soothe his tears and him beginning to work things out for himself. And although he still comes to me often baring his emotions, those times when he just clung to me, like I was the only thing in his world that could sufficiently offer him peace, are fewer and farther between.
Thinking about this made me think about my own relationship with my Heavenly Father, my 'Abba' God. How often do I cling to Him, taking peace and comfort in His safety and unconditional love?
When I was a 'young' Christian I ran to Him often, sharing excitement, offering praise, and seeking solace. Now, I seem to take His strength and ever-open arms for granted.
I know God takes pleasure in watching His children grow, becoming stronger and more mature. But just as we, as parents, will always cherish those moments when our children still surrender to their innate, overwhelming need to find reprieve and peace solely in our arms, I can only imagine how much more our Father cherishes the moments we cling to Him with complete faith and utter abandon.
"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deuteronomy 33:27.)
In the moments when this metamorphosis, showcasing his self-sufficiency, stare me in the eye, daring me to challenge the natural order of growing up, all I can do is relent and marvel at the amazing young man slowly forming in front of me. Strong cheekbones replace the once chubby, ever-pinchable cheeks and short, straight, dark layers take the place of his bouncing, caramel colored ringlets.
Now, don't get me wrong, as he gets older I discover new joys every day, and I feel an overwhelming sense of excitement thinking about the man he will become.
But there are a few things I really miss! Like the times when he is happy, tired, frightened by the thunder, or sad, and it seemed the only thing his little arms could do was just cling to me- knowing that in my arms he will find safety, rest, familiarity, and most of all, love. Part of growing up is him relying less on that familiar physical comfort to soothe his tears and him beginning to work things out for himself. And although he still comes to me often baring his emotions, those times when he just clung to me, like I was the only thing in his world that could sufficiently offer him peace, are fewer and farther between.
Thinking about this made me think about my own relationship with my Heavenly Father, my 'Abba' God. How often do I cling to Him, taking peace and comfort in His safety and unconditional love?
When I was a 'young' Christian I ran to Him often, sharing excitement, offering praise, and seeking solace. Now, I seem to take His strength and ever-open arms for granted.
I know God takes pleasure in watching His children grow, becoming stronger and more mature. But just as we, as parents, will always cherish those moments when our children still surrender to their innate, overwhelming need to find reprieve and peace solely in our arms, I can only imagine how much more our Father cherishes the moments we cling to Him with complete faith and utter abandon.
"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deuteronomy 33:27.)
Developing Character As A Mom
I have always admired my grandmother as a person, but especially as a mother and grandmother. She is generous, caring, and hardworking, and has the ability to maintain a calm, sufficient strength through all of life's storms.
Her guidance is so natural, her goodness so sincere, and her most valuable lessons seem so effortlessly passed down to her children and to us, her grandchildren.
Growing up I was certain these wonderful qualities and character strengths would naturally activate in my DNA when I decided to have children of my own. I was absolutely positive this gene merely hibernated, quietly dormant in my blood until, of course, the day I became a mother.
But after my son arrived and the idyllic, tranquil woman (I naturally assumed was part of my genetic make-up) never made her appearance, I panicked. Surely, this meant I was adopted and therefore not programmed for perfection.
After my family re-assured me I was theirs, tried and true, genetic make-up and all, I began looking for other things to blame for my shortcomings. My inadequacy, compared to my grandmother whom I adore, must be the result of the gaping generation gap and extreme demoralization of our society. (I mean, she never had to deal with either one of the Spear's sisters, rap music, or the constant bombardment of explicit sexuality in the media, right?)
Recently, however, while reading the book of Proverbs in the Bible, I got my answer. My grandmother's strength and spiritual devotion have nothing to do with external factors and everything to do with her inner virtue and faith in God. Fortunately through His grace, our Heavenly Father has given us the same tools as every generation before us, including our mothers, and their mothers.
And no, she didn't have to deal with MTV or the Internet, but temptation has been around since the beginning of time. (Remember the snake in the garden?) Even though it has evolved greatly and taken many shapes through the generations, the battle of right and wrong remains the same.
"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. . .Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:28 & 30)
Her guidance is so natural, her goodness so sincere, and her most valuable lessons seem so effortlessly passed down to her children and to us, her grandchildren.
Growing up I was certain these wonderful qualities and character strengths would naturally activate in my DNA when I decided to have children of my own. I was absolutely positive this gene merely hibernated, quietly dormant in my blood until, of course, the day I became a mother.
But after my son arrived and the idyllic, tranquil woman (I naturally assumed was part of my genetic make-up) never made her appearance, I panicked. Surely, this meant I was adopted and therefore not programmed for perfection.
After my family re-assured me I was theirs, tried and true, genetic make-up and all, I began looking for other things to blame for my shortcomings. My inadequacy, compared to my grandmother whom I adore, must be the result of the gaping generation gap and extreme demoralization of our society. (I mean, she never had to deal with either one of the Spear's sisters, rap music, or the constant bombardment of explicit sexuality in the media, right?)
Recently, however, while reading the book of Proverbs in the Bible, I got my answer. My grandmother's strength and spiritual devotion have nothing to do with external factors and everything to do with her inner virtue and faith in God. Fortunately through His grace, our Heavenly Father has given us the same tools as every generation before us, including our mothers, and their mothers.
And no, she didn't have to deal with MTV or the Internet, but temptation has been around since the beginning of time. (Remember the snake in the garden?) Even though it has evolved greatly and taken many shapes through the generations, the battle of right and wrong remains the same.
"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. . .Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31:28 & 30)
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Just A Few Quotes
"The phrase 'working mother' is redundant. " -Jane Sellman
"God could not be everywhere and therefore He made mothers."
-Jewish Proverb
"Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation." -C. Everett Koop
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
"Trust in God and do something." -Mary Lyon
"God could not be everywhere and therefore He made mothers."
-Jewish Proverb
"Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation." -C. Everett Koop
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
"Trust in God and do something." -Mary Lyon
Praying For Our Children
As parents, especially mothers, we often find ourselves wearing many different hats and filling many different roles. During the course of a typical day I, like most of you, usually play the part of short-order-cook, event planner, coach, referee, housekeeper, and now that summer is in full swing, lifeguard and dermatologist. (You should see some of the sunburns and mosquito bites I've treated this summer!)
Every role we play, and hat we wear, in our children's lives is equally important, except for one. This is the hat we pull on after our kids are in bed, dishes done and homework completed- the one we wear not for them, but on their behalf. It is the one we wear not with our children, or doing for our children, but when we hit our knees before God to pray for our children!
Our petitions for guidance, strength, safety, and blessings are more necessary and life-altering to our children than anything we could ever 'do' for them. This is so easy to lose sight of as we hurry through our days swamped with chores and tasks. And more often than not, these duties leave us completely exhausted at the end of the day with little, or no, energy to spare.
But don't hang up your hat yet! Take the time to wear the most important one of all, the one that will affect your child for eternity. Clear your head of stress and hit your knees! Taking the time to pray will ensure that all life's tasks go smoother for you and your family.
There is such an awesome peace in knowing that your worries and concerns for your children have been turned over to God. He is the ultimate protector and provider and the Bible tells us "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." (Isa. 40:31a)
So regardless of the number of hats you have already worn for the day, or the number of tasks you have accomplished, take the time to pray. It is the only way we can truly re-charge, allowing us to wake up again tomorrow and joyfully pull on the first hat of a great new day.
Every role we play, and hat we wear, in our children's lives is equally important, except for one. This is the hat we pull on after our kids are in bed, dishes done and homework completed- the one we wear not for them, but on their behalf. It is the one we wear not with our children, or doing for our children, but when we hit our knees before God to pray for our children!
Our petitions for guidance, strength, safety, and blessings are more necessary and life-altering to our children than anything we could ever 'do' for them. This is so easy to lose sight of as we hurry through our days swamped with chores and tasks. And more often than not, these duties leave us completely exhausted at the end of the day with little, or no, energy to spare.
But don't hang up your hat yet! Take the time to wear the most important one of all, the one that will affect your child for eternity. Clear your head of stress and hit your knees! Taking the time to pray will ensure that all life's tasks go smoother for you and your family.
There is such an awesome peace in knowing that your worries and concerns for your children have been turned over to God. He is the ultimate protector and provider and the Bible tells us "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." (Isa. 40:31a)
So regardless of the number of hats you have already worn for the day, or the number of tasks you have accomplished, take the time to pray. It is the only way we can truly re-charge, allowing us to wake up again tomorrow and joyfully pull on the first hat of a great new day.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Back To School
As the vibrant, cobalt evenings of summer begin to fade, the crisp breezes of Fall drift in and bring with them the excitement of Friday night football, freshly sharpened pencils, new spiral notebooks waiting to be filled and a certain bittersweet anticipation that comes only once a year.
We send our children back to school with our spoken (and unspoken) expectations chipping away at their lazy day memories of summer. We load their backpacks with school supplies and their souls with the important life lessons and the indispensable values we hope will protect and prepare them for another year.
Whether your child is an accomplished athlete, merit scholar, or star of the drama department, the most significant lesson you can ever teach them is the same: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord. . ." (Colossians 3:23)
Motivate your children to do well in school- not just to get into a great college or win a scholarship (although those things are wonderful) but to bring honor to God.
With the uncontainable presence of the Holy Spirit permeating everything we do, what we do well becomes our sacrificial offering to the Lord, for His glory!
Every task, no matter how small or seemingly inconsequential, when done with a true spirit of worship, also becomes a tangible testimonial bearing witness to God's own inherent goodness.
"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one of you for whatever good you do. . . " (Ephesians 6:7-8)
Making an effort to do your best at every task placed before you requires quite a commitment, but by helping your children view tonight's homework as an opportunity to serve God, you will encourage their hard work and keep them motivated. When your children know they are not only pleasing you, the parent, but also God their enthusiasm will naturally increase.
"So. . .whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." (1 Corinthians 10:31) As we begin another school year, take a minute to say a prayer with your children and thank the Lord for all the new and exciting ways to serve Him!
We send our children back to school with our spoken (and unspoken) expectations chipping away at their lazy day memories of summer. We load their backpacks with school supplies and their souls with the important life lessons and the indispensable values we hope will protect and prepare them for another year.
Whether your child is an accomplished athlete, merit scholar, or star of the drama department, the most significant lesson you can ever teach them is the same: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord. . ." (Colossians 3:23)
Motivate your children to do well in school- not just to get into a great college or win a scholarship (although those things are wonderful) but to bring honor to God.
With the uncontainable presence of the Holy Spirit permeating everything we do, what we do well becomes our sacrificial offering to the Lord, for His glory!
Every task, no matter how small or seemingly inconsequential, when done with a true spirit of worship, also becomes a tangible testimonial bearing witness to God's own inherent goodness.
"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one of you for whatever good you do. . . " (Ephesians 6:7-8)
Making an effort to do your best at every task placed before you requires quite a commitment, but by helping your children view tonight's homework as an opportunity to serve God, you will encourage their hard work and keep them motivated. When your children know they are not only pleasing you, the parent, but also God their enthusiasm will naturally increase.
"So. . .whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." (1 Corinthians 10:31) As we begin another school year, take a minute to say a prayer with your children and thank the Lord for all the new and exciting ways to serve Him!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Teaching Graciousness
Waiting in line is never fun, especially for children! So imagine our frustration the other night as two energetic little boys pushed passed my son, his friend and me to bounce in the inflatable 'moonwalk' after we had all been waiting for our turn patiently for what seemed like an eternity.
There were about thirty other people in the line (it was a fairly large event celebrating the close of the Little League season,) but it just happened that these boys 'broke' right in front of us. No one else really noticed, except the father and son standing directly behind us in the line.
In perfect unison my son turned toward me and the boy behind us turned toward his father looking for an explanation and some sort of discipline for the aforementioned offenders. While I was quickly trying to piece together a reply that would sound good, re-instate justice and hide my own annoyance towards the 'line-breakers,' I heard the father behind us simply reply, 'Son, be gracious.'
Wow! What an answer, I thought. In our fast-paced, 'me-first' world how often do we allow grace to shine through our anger, frustration and general indignation towards others who don't behave exactly the way we think they should?
The notion of 'turning the other cheek' has become an antiquated expression reserved for Sunday school and Bible stories. Our society often misinterprets graciousness and kindness as weakness and associates those who don't fight back or do go out of their way for others with such negative descriptions as being a 'doormat' or 'pushover.'
But exhibiting grace is usually much more difficult and requires a greater amount of personal strength and character than giving in to our inevitable feelings of irritation, anger or annoyance.
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse... If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (Romans 12:10,13b,14,17,18)
Living out these Biblical principles is far from easy, especially when it feels like everything and everyone in this world is on a crash course to derail even our best intentions. But I always try to remember the profound amounts of grace and mercy given to me by my Heavenly Father during those times I know I least deserve it. Graciousness is a gift- passed down from God to us and from us to the world, 'line-breakers' and all!
There were about thirty other people in the line (it was a fairly large event celebrating the close of the Little League season,) but it just happened that these boys 'broke' right in front of us. No one else really noticed, except the father and son standing directly behind us in the line.
In perfect unison my son turned toward me and the boy behind us turned toward his father looking for an explanation and some sort of discipline for the aforementioned offenders. While I was quickly trying to piece together a reply that would sound good, re-instate justice and hide my own annoyance towards the 'line-breakers,' I heard the father behind us simply reply, 'Son, be gracious.'
Wow! What an answer, I thought. In our fast-paced, 'me-first' world how often do we allow grace to shine through our anger, frustration and general indignation towards others who don't behave exactly the way we think they should?
The notion of 'turning the other cheek' has become an antiquated expression reserved for Sunday school and Bible stories. Our society often misinterprets graciousness and kindness as weakness and associates those who don't fight back or do go out of their way for others with such negative descriptions as being a 'doormat' or 'pushover.'
But exhibiting grace is usually much more difficult and requires a greater amount of personal strength and character than giving in to our inevitable feelings of irritation, anger or annoyance.
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse... If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (Romans 12:10,13b,14,17,18)
Living out these Biblical principles is far from easy, especially when it feels like everything and everyone in this world is on a crash course to derail even our best intentions. But I always try to remember the profound amounts of grace and mercy given to me by my Heavenly Father during those times I know I least deserve it. Graciousness is a gift- passed down from God to us and from us to the world, 'line-breakers' and all!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The Importance of Patience
Have you ever noticed how the extreme rise in temperature seems to seriously diminish our tolerance levels? There appears to be an indirect correlation between the heat and our patience. One goes up and the other goes way down.
Mothers, who just last December happily stood in line for hours just to see Santa, now are pulling hair and throwing Tae-Bo punches just to get the best chairs at the pool. Well, maybe not that extreme, but I have definitely noticed a spike in road rage and indignant scowls where smiles used to sit.
Patience is crucial when raising little ones and completely necessary in discipline. It eliminates the risk of emotionally based decision making, i.e., allowing anger to steal our focus and not using our mistakes, or our children's, as opportunities to learn and grow. It is important not only to be patient with our children, but with others as well. The examples we set today dictate our children's behavior tomorrow.
Ephesians 4:2 instructs us to "be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
This is a tall order-especially at the end of a long day. (I know its difficult to maintain a tolerant disposition when your child spills Kool-Aid for the tenth time in one day. Or asks for the millionth time why 6 year-olds can't see R-rated movies.) But these are the times when we need to rely on God's love and patience the most. Through His grace we can accept the peace He offers, allowing us to be less affected by daily struggles and the things that normally frustrate us.
Creating a stable, steadfast environment not only gives our children the secure foundation they need; it also gives us an opportunity to bear witness to the consistency of God in their lives. He is the same from season to season and His love and patience endure forever (Psalm 136.)
Every time I feel my fuse getting shorter I think about the amazing gift of God's patience, and all the times He is patient me, regardless of the amount of traffic or the temperature outside. The little things that bother us throughout our day are just that- little things. There is so much to be grateful for, including God's unconditional love and patience!
Mothers, who just last December happily stood in line for hours just to see Santa, now are pulling hair and throwing Tae-Bo punches just to get the best chairs at the pool. Well, maybe not that extreme, but I have definitely noticed a spike in road rage and indignant scowls where smiles used to sit.
Patience is crucial when raising little ones and completely necessary in discipline. It eliminates the risk of emotionally based decision making, i.e., allowing anger to steal our focus and not using our mistakes, or our children's, as opportunities to learn and grow. It is important not only to be patient with our children, but with others as well. The examples we set today dictate our children's behavior tomorrow.
Ephesians 4:2 instructs us to "be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
This is a tall order-especially at the end of a long day. (I know its difficult to maintain a tolerant disposition when your child spills Kool-Aid for the tenth time in one day. Or asks for the millionth time why 6 year-olds can't see R-rated movies.) But these are the times when we need to rely on God's love and patience the most. Through His grace we can accept the peace He offers, allowing us to be less affected by daily struggles and the things that normally frustrate us.
Creating a stable, steadfast environment not only gives our children the secure foundation they need; it also gives us an opportunity to bear witness to the consistency of God in their lives. He is the same from season to season and His love and patience endure forever (Psalm 136.)
Every time I feel my fuse getting shorter I think about the amazing gift of God's patience, and all the times He is patient me, regardless of the amount of traffic or the temperature outside. The little things that bother us throughout our day are just that- little things. There is so much to be grateful for, including God's unconditional love and patience!
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